When looking back, we often regret certain decisions, certain paths taken, we think we could have done things differently, of course better.
We believe that if we go back in time to change history then history will change. Yet we forget that we influence others and others influence us. People are as much part of the equation as we are. Our actions affect others and others affect our actions. Therefore, even if we manage somehow to go back to the past, it is not a given that we can change it … unless we can take decisions for others.
On another hand, what if our history was part of a larger plan and, in reality, our present outcome is inevitable, even by taking a different path? Aren’t we all inter-connected with an extraordinary domino effect?
Let us talk about the path. Isn’t it what shapes who we are day after day? Aren’t we at every moment the result of our experiences?
Therefore, is not regret sounding like a will to take today’s decision with tomorrow’s state of mind? Strange configuration. Wasn’t it precisely that yesterday decision that forged our today identity?
All right let’s be hard on ourselves for a moment. Let us forget about the personal environment we’ve evolved in. Let us forget that we could only decide based on the information we’ve been exposed to. Clearly then, we should have had the necessary lucidity when making our choices. If you read that Chinese proverb, I’m quite sure you would think twice about it: “men in the game are blind to what men looking on see clearly”.
According to Raymond Latarjet, regret is a second mistake. Aren’t we then just forcing the issue by feeding our regrets?
What about regret of our on hold dreamed life? Is it not more judicious to look into it now and thus close the door to the illusion of future regret?
Paulo Coelho wrote in The Alchemist ” When you can’t go back, you have to worry only about the best way of moving forward.”. Indeed, as long as the game is in progress, the score is uncertain. Isn’t it?
All in all, what if the secret to happiness is to assume our choices, actions and sometimes errors and mistakes, without regrets?